I have been working on taking care of myself and my mental health lately and I happily would like to report that I am much better and have a hopeful outlook on my life and my recovery.
I have been clean now for 4 years (still on methadone) and have transferred clinics. It was a nerve wracking experience because I was worried that I was going to have to start over. Having to go into a clinic every day and wait in line after taking your medicine at home is probably the worst fear that I've had in a long time. In a way it kind of erases all of erases all of the progress that you have made. I was told by the intake doctor that I was one of the few success stories that he has seen and instead of feeling pride.....I felt sad.
I sat in an orientation class that was required by my new clinic and there was this guy in there that just kept saying things like "You are all going to be trapped here, methadone is legal heroin" and "Everyone that's on it is nodding out all day". I wanted to sit there and keep to myself and just get through the next hour but the misinformation that he was giving everyone that was in this class was harmful. I told him that he was completely wrong and that it's absolutely possible to live a productive life and to accomplish everything that you want. You don't have to come to the clinic every day once you have a little bit of clean time and you certainly won't be falling asleep all day if you are at a therapeutic dose. He wanted to argue with me and question why I was still there and I feel like by the end I was able to show him that the information that he was giving everyone was wrong.
I am sad that so many people still think that people that take methadone are a certain way. Some people are still getting high and are only taking it to stay out of withdrawal, this is true. (Notice how I said some people?" That's what I did for five months. Guess what else is true?
It is completely possible to have a successful life while taking a daily dose of methadone
You can graduate from college (I did!)
You can be a good parent
You can take your methadone at home if you just pass a few drug tests
You won't fall asleep all day.
You can regain the trust of your family that you have destroyed in your addiction
I wanted to write all about how I am overcoming a sugar addiction as well (thanks methadone!) but I guess I'll save that for another post. I hope that everyone is having a wonderful New Year's Day and that they are getting the support that they need. If you need additional support, my email is always open. There is also a reddit group, (just search r/methadone) that has a huge group of people that can answer your questions about starting treatment or helping a loved one that is struggling. There are also tons of articles about methadone maintenance and support groups on ZOOM now. I'll link those too!